First week of Feb
A new recognition and appreciation of forms and rules came up for me. The week began with an uncomfortable, placelessness, a sense of loneliness that comes over me sometimes. But I did the only thing I could do, go through with the forms.
Attended the seminars, reading group (Tuesday), community kitchen, choir practise, and slowly, the forms told me what they mean. They help me inhabit time here.
I read some texts my supervisor insists I should read, and I became immersed in them. I let them take hold of me and move my thinking in different directions.
My key goals, of writing two long form pieces, are still quite ahead of me. But I was no longer anxious working on them. I can see what lies ahead is these intense writing sessions where I try to make sense of issues that have puzzled me.
I am going to let myself be puzzled. To let myself be 'interested in my interests' as Baxi puts it.
To let the world speak to me, to let it linger in my head.
The documentary about Raymond Carver's work, the images and sounds of characters. The pictures of his family in Arkansas and Washington state.
Prof Ranganathan's email, where she mentioned kind words about my review piece, in this otherwise brutal week of orders by new administration.
The sounds of Kiwanuka, the call for solid ground.
The call for solid ground in my own work. Picking up the furniture and putting it all there. Build it all, slowly.